See ya in a year!

It wasn't until my last week in Glasgow that it hit me that I was really leaving.

Before that the feeling came and went, the feeling that it was all real that is. Like how I felt when I had been accepted for a visa, then when it came through the post and then when my acceptance letter came through from KU. At all these times I got really excited about moving...

The last week was the time to make plans with all my family and friends seeing as I wouldn't see them again...for a year.

Near the beginning of that week I went out for dinner with my mum, sister, uncle and childhood friends in a more intimate setting. We went to our local Chinese restaurant, the I Chai. The food was delicious and the banter was great. Naturally, because I was leaving we started talking about childhood memories including funny ones, happy ones and even sad and embarrassing ones. It was good to reflect but the sad/embarrassing ones put me in a weird mood. They're the ones you would rather forget and I kinda wish they hadn't brought them up because they made me feel insecure - not the best state to be in when you're planning to start a new life for yourself.

Our matching bracelets (my arm's the weird shaped one)

The next day I met up with my school friends who I'm very close to, even now. We went to a local pub and had a couple of drinks which put us in the mood for going out...so we went clubbing afterwards. It was a really good night and they gave me leaving presents which was a nice surprise. They gave me a photo album with pictures of us all and friendly messages, plus a friendship bracelet and American dollars. I remember how we thought it looked like Monopoly money! I also remember the fire alarm went off in the club and drinking more than what I should've...so I spent all of the next day being hungover.

The day after hangover day I felt really weird. I had a lot of stuff to get sorted but couldn't be arsed with it, everything just felt like an effort. That night I had my leaving night out and so invited everyone including my childhood friends, school friends, cousins, uni friends and friends from Homebase, where I worked. I should have been excited but for some reason I felt sick...I thought it could've been the after-effects of drinking and was suffering from a 2-day hangover but I hadn't felt sick earlier that day. I don't know why but I couldn't enjoy myself at the beginning of the night. I had to go to the toilet at the bar (Firewater) because I felt like I was gonna throw up. My sister and cousin checked to see if I was okay...the more I explained it, the more I realised I was just feeling really sad. Seeing everyone there on my leaving night had just confirmed that I was really leaving...and that it was the last time I would see them again. I knew I would miss them all. It had finally hit me.

The next day I felt really really sad and didn't feel like doing anything. Which was pretty bad because I still had to pack my suitcase and write out thank you cards to everyone who had given me money and gifts. My mum ended up doing most of it (she's way better organised than me!). I decided to give my friends one last call to thank them for their gifts and support, but broke down on the phone. I couldn't stop crying and then my mum started and things got all emotional! It wasn't like I was crying because I didn't want to go, but more because the nerves had finally hit and I was a bit anxious about leaving my safe secure life in Scotland.

Then the leaving day finally came. I was still a little nervous, but more excited - even though it was 2 am. I was surprised I didn't cry at the airport but I think I had done enough the night before I wasn't scared anymore. My mum and sister cried a little bit but I kept telling them, "You'll be glad to get rid of me!"

Then I left.

And eventually landed in Kansas! To hear about my experiences in Kansas become a follower of the blog or check it out next Monday! Comments and questions are always welcome.